Lonely?
I actually wrote a post earlier, but now that I looked at my blog it's gone missing. I have no idea what happened. Well, I'll try to get some of those ideas in to this post.
I wrote about my busyness. How I'm always hurrying from one place to another. I seldom have the time to just sit back and relax. Well, a few days ago I deliberately arranged two days off from all my resposibilities, work, hobbies, girls and friends. It's good to have time for yourself every once and a while.
What happened was I felt very lonely. Very lonely. I had to start sending text messages to all the girls just to assure myself that my being single really is a choice, not a necessity. Quite simply I had to prove myself that I could have a girlfriend if I wanted one.
I've thought about this before quite a few times, but it's the first time I'm writing this down. Am I keeping myself busy deliberately so I wouldn't have time to notice how lonely I really am? At the moment I'm so busy I wouldn't even have time to date anyone, but if I arrange some time off I immediately feel like a puppy in need of some tenderness and care. I hope there's not a lot of guys reading this since it is a bit embarassing to admit that I'm not all about ass fucking, I do need some hugging and nice words every now and then too ;)
This post just poses the question since I don't have an answer. I'm very eager to hear your opinion so please do write your thoughts in the comment section or via email.
posted by Farewell @ 11:20 PM
16 comments
16 Comments:
Should this post be taken seriously or are you just playing sensitive to make the girls reading this fall for you? ;-)
Anyways, I think you are right in what you say. Being busy is a good way to hide the reality in many things. It's just so damn easy to keep hurrying everywhere. Then it's all about the tactics, but not the strategy of your life.
lol, you see right through me ;)
Sure you are.
If that's what you want, well, it's your life and your decision.
If not, why not give a thought to as to what degree you being picky about girls is genuinely you and to what degree it's about what you want other people to think of you.
Maybe you're just gradually growing up... :)
The intense pace of the social life takes "juices" off you. Literally ;) but seriously mentally too. You just get used to people around you when then time comes, you suspect your motives and also was it intentional or did you just loose all people around you. As someone here said, its about growing up. For someone it might be. But as long as i have readed your blog, i dont think its all about that. You just "feed" yourself with attention. My 50cnts.
I've been reading your blog for a while, but this is first time I write anything to you.
To be honest, I don't even understand why I keep on reading your stories, maybe because you seem to be one of the type of people I know in real life, and who I have been wondering for quite a while.
I just can't undertand how sex can be so important to you, more importat than feelings and relationships. Maybe you have some emotional problems, this way you avoid true communication, and isolate yourself from life.
I don't know, it's hard to say. MAybe you are totally different in real life. It's just really hard for me to understand the way you are living your life, but maybe you know what you are doing?
junakohtaus:
You are right. The opinion of the people around me means a lot to me. Don't get this the wrong way, I'm not a person whose always thinking about what others will think of me. However, I do want a girl whom I can be proud of outside the comfort of my own home too. Is there really something wrong with that?
takaisin kallioon:
Yeah, that's possible too. I guess there's a time for everyone ;)
kellopeli:
You're right about me feeding on attention. I love attention. That's the way I am and I don't even want to change that, even if it will eventually do my head in ;)
myblueheaven:
Thank you for writing. This blog does give a slightly twisted image of the real me since my life consists of many things of which sex is just one. However, I don't write a blog of any other aspect of my life, which probably means that in some way sex and women are above others.
I think I know what I'm doing even though I do question it every once and a while. I'm looking for the perfect woman and I'll rather die trying than settle for less. I want the kind of love you only see in the movies.
To all:
It is pretty unbelievable how well some of you know some aspects of me. There's a lot of things that you've deduced from this blog that would normally take months even in real life to figure out.
I have to say I am truly impressed. I have smart readers and people really read my writings, they don't just skim through them.
Thank you so much.
The fact that you´re asking that question here, from your audience, actually answers your question.
Where are all your friends? Not the girls you have sex with, not the guys you have beer with, not your mom you have your arguments with, but the people you could talk about these things with. The people you really love and feel at home with.
Sure, we all love our performing artist, but when the show´s over or we just get tired or bored off we go, home to our loved ones. And all you are left with is just a silly blog. We´re just a virtual audience, and that´s a bit too little to fill your life with.
Go and get a life you really like.
BTW, looking for a girl you can both love and be proud of is fine, as long as you are absolutely sure these two things _do_ go together. Are you?
dear telaketjutenava, there are some true friends in this virtual universe, too.
farewell: of course you want a girlfriend. perfect packages do exist, you just have to find one.
good luck, and have fun during the journey : )
telaketjutenava:
I'll say it once again. I have lot of life outside the blog. I'm not constantly on the lookout for new pussy. I do other stuff too. I just don't write about those things here since this is a blog about my sex life.
Do you really think that a performing artist only lives during the shows he performs? No life in between?
I do have friends that I can share with but I'm the kind of person who prefers to keep some things private. I don't want to talk about my relationships with any of my friends, even though I could.
Why wouldn't the two go together?
Thanks for your comments!
YOU want a girlfriend YOU can be proud of... Is there anything any decent female could be proud of in you? You reckon this crap exits your life when you "delete the archives" on the day you get married? Perhaps you'll find a like minded person who also does not respect the opposite sex. You can be fuck buddies for eternity. Sweet.
I have great respect towards women. This blog just shows my darkest and most straightforward feelings, which don't come out in real life very often.
Is it sick to think this way and act entirely different? I find it hard to believe. I remember reading somewhere that mothers with an infant may think things like "I'm just want to throw this baby down from the balcony". If thoughts like that creep up, it's not insanity. When you act upon it, you're sick.
So, what I do matters, not what I think. And do I treat women like dirt? No, I do not. When I meet new girls I only want to fuck, I always tell them I'm not going to date them. I always respect their wishes and wants, I've never forced anyone to do anything. If she doesn't please me I whine about it in my blog, I don't treat her bad.
You say you don't treat girls badly, but how do you know? Girls you've met only once or twice may get hurt without you knowing. Only when one grasps these consequences, will the infamous growing up begin to take place. Or so they say.
I'd have to live in a box for all my life if I wanted to make sure I don't hurt anyone. Of course some girls get hurt, but I don't do it intentionally and I try to prevent it as best I can. It's not my fault if someone falls for me. I can't help it.
Remember that growing up and dating are to different things. If I started dating I probably wouldn't hurt as many girls, but I'd still be the same guy with the same mentality. I wouldn't grow a bit, but I'd still probably be more of a grown up from your perspective.
hey farewell,
I really like your writing, the fact that you are succint and clear is something I like :) I know this is out of the question here, but I like how you rationalize. I have the impression that you think about some of these things continually. To an extent I feel you do care a lot about other people. Regarding loneliness and wether you are or not superficial and chauvinistic...I think you are a good guy, I like that you are respectful and I am sure you are as nice as you can be in each situation. I am guessing your sincere and anonymous writings reflect most of my guy friends' wants but they probably have their own blogs...
I hope you find the girl of your dreams. Dreams do come true only if they are real :)
Thank you for your kind words, Anonymous. I get a lot of criticism so it's great to hear something positive every now and then. You really did cheer up my day ;)
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