Shot down twice
I tried posting already yesterday, but after writing a decent amount of text my browser crashed and naturally I hadn't saved the post as a draft. This composer should have an autosave feature. It's not the first time I've lost stuff in a similar way.
Last week I was really busy with studies and work so I only saw Jenni in the weekend. We were suppose to meet on Saturday, but after reading for an exam until 10 pm on Friday I decided to join her at a christmas party. She got totally wasted whereas I only had a few. I was hopelessly left behind in the drinking when I got to the party so I decided it's better to not even try catching up.
She came over to my place for the night. I was horny, and tried warming her up for some sex, but she rejected me saying "I'm so drunk I won't feel anything". I wanted to scream "So fucking what? I want to cum", but I kept my mouth shut. She should've at least given me a blowjob, god damn it.
Ok, now I'm probably pissing off a lot of people. I just hope you're getting my point. It's the reason she rejected me, not the fact that she did. It would've been OK if she'd just said she's too drunk to have sex. What I hated was that she was capable of sex, but didn't want to because she wouldn't get any pleasure out of it.
The way I see it, since we're dating, she's my sex toy. She's at my disposal and I'm at her's. That's one of the many things that dating means. I'm not saying you have to have sex if you're not feeling up for it, but I do think it is your responsibility to pleasure your partner in some other way. I'm willing to stand behind this. I promise I'll please my girlfriend anytime she asks me to. I only hope she could do the same.
The next day we fucked. Once again I made her bleed. I don't know what's up with that. She bleeds almost everytime I fuck her a bit more furiously than normal. I didn't hurt her though. She didn't even notice the bleeding until I told her. Well, I'm hoping it'll pass. Kind of like when you keep beating a bruise, eventually it'll go away. ;)
In the evening I had a christmas party with some friends and she joined us at a bar. Eventually we got back to my place, both pretty much shitfaced. This time we had sex and we fucked a good while. After the climaxes I kept spanking her ass, calling her a bad girl and such. I know it's such I cliche, but forgive me, I was drunk. Anyway, I was really enjoying my dominance, power and ownership until suddenly she got up and made me stop. "My whole bottom is sore from the fucking you just gave me" she said and thus brought me tumbling down from heavens. It pissed me off so much.
Of course it's her right to say no and I'd never want to hurt her. Again, however, the way she came about it is just plain wrong. If I'm dominant, she can't just make me stop. She's supposed to ask me if I would ease off because of her reasons and of course I would. The difference is that then I'd still be dominant and she'd still be submissive. I wouldn't lose my high, but she'd still get what she wants.
Apart from these two aforementioned incidents I had a great time with her this weekend. I love it how well she gets along with my friends. Even if she's in a group where she doesn't know anyone it'll only take her a few minutes to get a conversation going with someone. Completely different compared to, for example, Laura. With her I had to keep her company for the whole evening. With Jenni I can just hang out with my friends and I know she'll be just fine.
Every once and a while I miss being single. Evita is now very much available for fucking and there's a few others I wouldn't mind chasing, but so far I've kept my reins on. Actually I've been so busy I wouldn't have had time to see anyone even if I was single.
I'm not sure if I'll have time to write again before christmas so just in case: merry christmas! Guys, don't buy underwear as a gift to a girl. That's selfish.
posted by Farewell @ 9:46 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
I was just thinking does she know you that you are being the dom? Is she aware that she is playing a sub role? If you discuss this with her it may help the situation. Maybe she is new to this role and needs some guidelines to follow. I do understand your frustration with the no sex because she will not feel it situation that is just wrong. When you are in a relationship the reward is the pleasure you give your partner even if you do not have an orgasm yourself it should still be enjoyable.
Welcome to real world of dating. I was bit frustrated that you insist to have sex when ever you want. You want to have it too due the "feel", so therefore is she dont want to have it, you should respect that. You have yourself written that you have rejected some due "you didnt feel like it". Almost same thing. Now you have been this long together and twice you have gotten turned down. I can tell you, there will be more. Lots of more. Its called normal life. Since you want to be with her a bit longer, i really suggest that you tell her all you feel about this and you point of view. Otherwise your just rolling downhill slowly. Cheers.
ps. when your sextoy and she wants same way than you, what will she think when you cant get hard on? "you have to"?
kellopeli - he did say that he would do _something_ to please the girlfriend even if he would be incapable of doing it in other ways.
Also, kellopeli, your finnish-translated-directly-into-English is a horrible pain to read. ;)
You are selfish!
But you´ll grow old and then you+ ll understand what real life is!
heheh tervetuloa seurustelevien maailmaan. Odotapas pari vuotta vielä niin jalat koskettavat maata vielä vahvemmin.
Nii-in. Mitä tästä opimme? Kannattaa miettiä muutaman kerran alkaako seurustella vai jatkaako sinkkuna :).
Ennen pitkää sä huomaat, että sun tyttöystävällä on yhä useammin joko puolukkapäivät tai pää kipeä ;).
Iloista joulua!
Indeed, have you actually ever told her, that you expect her to be a serious sub?
Even if she sometimes behaves in a "subly" manner, it really doesn't mean that she sees subness as her actual and constant role or that she understands your requirements for a sub.
Knowing that you used to read "Once bitten" it seems that you don't have a very good consept about how these sub/dom things are supposed to work (if it really is the case that you haven't _really_ discussed about these things with her.) The way I understand it, being a sub to someone is suposed to be based on a clear agreement (based on mutual understanding) between the dom and the sub. You can't really just expect her to do it with out clearly stating how you want things to be between you.
i agree with orangeseeds. does she know how serious you are with this dom/sub thing?
maybe she sees it like sucking cock: sometimes you suck a lot, sometimes you barely touch it, and you can stop if your jaws start to ache. (well, that happens to me a lot, since i'm addicted to huge cocks..)
happy holidays, dear farewell.
thegirlfriend:
As you can read from my latest post we did talk about it a bit. We'll see what happens.
kellopeli:
I haven't been dating before this in quite a while and as I said, the sex toy responsibility only applies to dating couples.
The way I see it I have no responsibility to please a fuck buddy, but naturally I do so she'll keep coming back for more.
roger:
I don't really think that this is selfishness, but yeah, sure, maybe I'll learn in time.
anonymous:
Noh, jos vituttaa niin ainahan voi seurustelemisen lopettaa.
partyflickan:
Niin, mutta ydinkysymys onkin, että miksi te tytöt teette tuollaista? :D
orangeseeds:
My situation differs from the one in "Once Bitten" a lot. We don't do dom/sub 24/7. But yes, you do have a point and I already acted like you wanted me to since we talked about these things.
assshole:
Happy New Year! Such a pity we're both in a relationship, otherwise I'd want you to assess my cock ;)
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