Singularity
It so happens that I'm single again. Not quite sure what to think of it yet, my emotions are pretty mixed up. On the other hand I care for Jenni a lot, but as I said in my last post I also miss my single life. I just hope I'm not making a big mistake.
The crucial blow was when we discussed sex. It's unbelievable how different our views were when spoken out. She said she has hardly any sex drive and that she's very shy in such matters. She likes sex, but only feels horny when she's got a hangover. I don't know how we got this far without it being a bigger problem. I suppose I just took lead and enjoyed my ATM.
You all know I love sex. Possibly even too much. Her view was that sex will slowly die down during a relationship and that it's normal. It may be that it's common, but no way in hell am I going to stomach it. I want to have sex as long as I can keep it up. (And thank you science for Viagra.)
But I have to say, it would've probably been one more month or so and I would've told her I love her. I probably do. I really enjoy being with her and we get along perfectly. A lot our friends said we're the perfect couple. That's what makes me uncertain. What if I'm making a huge mistake. What if, after a month, I'll be fed up with single life and I just miss her.
Of course there were other issues involved in the decision, but is it stupid that the biggest thing was sex? After all, it's just sex.
Well, I try not to think of these things too much. Hopefully, having sex with someone else will help me clear out my thoughts, one way or the other. The receptionist girl is pretty ripe for collecting after just a few text messages and one long phone call.
posted by Farewell @ 11:03 AM
11 comments
11 Comments:
If you're highly sexed yourself, you cannot be happy with someone who does not have a high sexdrive. At least I don't believe it can work. If she telling that now, she'll be preferring chokolate to your constant demands in a year, maximum two.
Remember, people are mutable, as are even their sex drives according to different stages in their personal development. Although it might be a no-win-situation for you both right now, maybe you'll meet later in life when you are more suited to each other in that sense. For now though, it seems you would be more fulfilled making yourself and your sex drive happy.
i am married and i say sex is an IMPORTANT part of marriage. you have to be in sync with each other....if one of you is more sexed then the other maybe alternatives need to be made. for instance my hubbie loves anal and i like it too as it is so "forbidden" and "dirty" but i cant imagine he was married before to someone else who never would have anal sex. he was deprived and unhappy.
and like i have no issues with my husband looking at porn on the net as he has no issue with me leaving hot messages for finnish boys. haa haa
every year for valentines day we go "shopping" for a new toy to play with. we may at times go through periods where i want more sex or he does depending on work schedules or not. but we talk about it and figure something out to meet our needs, including our little friends that hide out in bedroom drawers....that use battery power.
so i think before you became even more emotionally detached that you made the right choice. besides now all us people out here get to hear your new stories of depravity and fun!
a canadian girl
with sex furthurest from her mind due to having giving birth 8 days ago and being cut to shit!
I believe people's sexdrives stays pretty much the same...unless something happens to their hormones...
More conquest stories to come, I hope.
Stay safe.
Let me guess, she's on the pill? GET HER OFF IT!
Pill kills sex drive. Full stop.
Sex is important. Probably one of the most important things in a relationship. I could go on an endless rant here, but I'll just stick to the obvious: chemically, it is sex and physical interaction that produces oxytocin that creates the feeling of affection and a tight bond between two people. That's why when sex life dies, the relationship dies too.
If you love her, get her off the pill and stuff her with sea food, strawberries and champagne.
Also, might be an idea to give a go at inspiring her sex drive? Instead of just concentrating on your precious ATM, you might want to find out what does an equal mind fuck for her?
- happily coupled and sexed up chick
Oh come on! Of course you'll miss her and of course being single sucks...sometimes! But why stay in a relationship if you're not completely happy?
You've been questioning this relationship for quite a long time now so it was time to do something about it. If you have to think things thru so much, she's not the one. You'll see. The one is still on her way.. (Gosh I sound so optimistic I could just puke..LOL).
There's plenty of girls in Helsinki so cheer up!
Like anyone thought that you could last in a relationship. I'm amazed it got this far.
Thanks for all the positive comments. You're making me once again more sure that I made the right decision.
latest anonymous:
I believe the major difference between us is that I have alternatives. I can choose whom I date. I don't have to settle for first one that I can get.
Did it ever accur to you that you might have killed her sex drive? The way you described your sex - it was mainly about you and what she willingly did for you. I guess you thought she liked that too, but did you ever bother to ask?
I mean, if it surprised you that much after this long time of a relationship how different you two are when it comes to sex... it sounds really that you didn't know much about her fantasies and her hopes and desires. Maybe that didn't matter to you after all, but no wonder she doesn't feel like having sex too often anymore, with you at least.
anonymous:
Thanks for your overall positive attitude ;)
She said she's always had a low sex drive, with everyone. And yes we talked about sex, she said she loves having it with me.
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