Utter failure

Good news to all those who hate me: I've had a weekend full of failure. You're going to love this post. It sucks to write about failure, but I've been honest throughout the blog so far and I'm going to stick to it even though this would be the perfect moment to just stay silent.

However, let's start off on a positive note. I succeeded in spending Friday and Saturday evenings with Lisa. Normally we never meet on weekend evenings, let alone two in a row. I must've hit a soft spot and I realize that it's not going to happen again very soon, which actually makes this story even sadder.

We had a great time. Naturally. We always do. We had lengthy discussions about our relationship and it's peculiarity. I'll spare you the details so we'll get to the failing faster.

On Friday we didn't spend the night together. We just kissed in a romantic place in Helsinki. It's been a while since we've kissed and it was magical.

On Saturday I invited her over to my place. We watched a movie and then started playing around. Lots and lots of kissing, which I normally don't like that much, but with her it's great. Things started getting passionate and I was hard as a rock. I peeled off her jeans and closed in on her crotch with kisses.

I kissed her panties, but didn't go under them until I thought I'd teased her enough. I must've since when I eventually pulled them aside she was absolutely soaking wet. When I started licking her I was covered in her juices in just a few seconds. Absolutely lovely. Lisa tastes likes strawberries.

I kept her panties aside and licked her to an orgasm. She squirmed, moaned and smiled beautifully. I wish I could record her expressions on video. I could jerk off just watching her face.

After her orgasm, the passion decreased. She started acting a bit weird so after a while I asked her if there's something wrong. "I'm not sure if us having sex is the best thing to do." I couldn't help thinking "Yeah, I bet it's not now that I've already made you cum", but I kept silent.

It's funny with this girl. It seems that she multiplies all my emotions by ten. I don't think I've ever felt so rejected. I really felt like shit. I was a puppet and I fucking hate that. All these thoughts showed on my face and eventually I also told her. Now she was sorry that she made me feel so bad. How fucked up can the relationship between two people be. I asked her to sleep over anyway and she said she would even though initially she'd said that she wouldn't.

Later on when we got to bed for sleeping purposes, things got heated again. She sucked my cock, which was pleasant but not entirely fulfilling, possibly due to the situation. Anyway, since I didn't want to lose the moment I fairly quickly got out a condom and started shoving my cock in her pussy.

So far, with Lisa, I've lost my erection at this point every time. This time I didn't. Not that it made much of a difference since I came immediately. Un-fucking-believable. She thought I just lost my erection again and I didn't want to correct her with something even more embarrassing. I'm like a fucking 15-year-old school boy when I'm with her.

So once again I failed at fucking the girl who is one of the most fuckable girls I know. It was so ironic that I laughed out loud.

For today I had already earlier arranged for Jonna to come over since she's been harrasing me non-stop. I wasn't feeling great, but I didn't want to cancel. I thought I'll just treat her bad and then send her home, which is exactly what I did.

I sent her a message telling her not to wear panties and of course she obeyed. When she got my place I made her suck my dick, but I told her she's not allowed to take it inside her mouth. Finally my balls got the attention that they need. I then spanked her ass for something like 20 minutes until it was completely and utterly red. I fucked her ass, took another condom and fucked her pussy until she came. All this without a hint of passion.

I was thinking of ejaculating on her stomach, but when I took off the condom and started jerking off I just kept thinking about Lisa and well, naturally, that fucked up everything. I couldn't cum. I just said "Fuck it" and stopped trying.

So, all in all, not a very pleasant weekend sexually even though there was a lot of stuff going on. Anyway, I don't have time to blabber anymore, but hopefully I can write again soon.