Yet another failure

The chubby but fuckable girl from Stockmann, from now on referred to as Mirva, slept over at my place Friday-Saturday. I was feeling really horny after a few beers, but of course she was on her period. We played around a bit, mostly kissing, which I'm not into that much but she definately was. Naturally I like kissing, but I don't want to have my lips glued to hers all the time. Besides, kissing the neck and ears is way more sexier.

Luckily she understood without much insinuation that since she's chubby and on her period, and I'm a hot guy, she needs to blow me if she ever wants to see me again.

Normally I don't cum into a girls mouth without asking for permission first. I don't know why, but I think it's sort of rude or something. With her I was kind of thinking about asking about it, but then I just thought that she's been sucking my cock for such a while already that she must know what's coming (literally). She tidily swallowed it all. Good girl, though chubby ;)

Sunday evening Lisa asked me to come over. I deliberately haven't even suggested us seeing each other since I wanted her to make the move and finally she did. Oh, had I missed her sweet, fit body.

I don't think I've quite emphasized how beautiful her pussy is. It's simply magnificent. Last night I spent quite a lot of time just watching her masturbate. It was so beautiful I could've cried. Had I died right then and there, I would've died a happy man with a huge boner.

Well, when it was time for me to stuff that boner into her womb, it instantly disappeared. It wasn't just a weak erection, hell, my cock was totally limp. Third time in a row. Can you fucking believe it? One of the hottest girls I've met in my life and I can't fucking keep it up?! God, if you're out there, you're a fucking asshole.

It's all psychology. It's all in my head. But what the hell can I do about it?

Even though she is one of the hottest girls I know and there's a crazy spark between us, there's a lot of things wrong too. I analyzed the situation a bit and I came up with quite a few things that I know affect my ability to perform.

• Lighting. I'm a very visual person and I want to be able to see pussies and assholes and nipples, loud and clear. She likes candlelight.
• Tenderness. Nowadays my normal sex contains at least some dominance, choking, spanking, something. With her, it's all kissing and caressing.
• Status. She's the one calling the shots and I'm the one dancing accordingly. More often, it's the other way around. I don't like this setup very much.
• Her shyness. She keeps making small gestures of shyness, such as pulling her legs together a bit when I'm fingering her. I don't know why, but that seems to be a major turn off for me.
• Exhaustion. I'm been very, very tired on all of these three times this has happened. We always started playing around very late in the evening and finished in the wee hours and that definitely doesn't help.
  

None of these would have a big effect alone, but when combined they mean a lot. That is, enough to kill my erection at the crucial moment.

So I've concluded that lots of it is about the environment. With a lot of the girls, I'd just move on and forget about the whole deal, but Lisa is just someone I don't want to pass. I want to fuck her from behind just once in my life and maybe then I can move on. But how?

Most of the stuff on the list simply isn't something that I can do much about. The lighting I can probably fix if I ever manage to bring her to my place. Already the exhaustion is harder since as I said, she calls the shots and she doesn't plan ahead.

I suppose the best thing would be to just leave it be since our views on sex differ quite a lot. It's just that where they do collide, it's magical.

I'm very puzzled about this all and I'd appreciate your view on this. Please tell me what you think in a comment.

Anyway, I did please her after the limpness struck. I licked her into three orgasms in the evening and one in the morning. And I didn't even get a blowjob in return. She did suck my cock, but I didn't cum before she finished. She was going all like "this is so unfair, I get so much and you get nothing". I wanted to stay "stop whining and swallow", but as you can imagine I was feeling a bit low so I shut up. This is all so wrong and I'm just taking it. Blah.

Today I finally managed to see Evita. It was a very convenient day since I needed some proof of my manliness and, well, no problems keeping it up with her. "Kneel", was the first thing I commanded, then pulled out my cock and stuffed it in her mouth. I spanked her butt red, choked her, fingered her ass and fucked her like the slut she is. My hard-on was, of course, rock solid.