I hate hearing "no"

It's all about power. I love power. I love the feeling of being in control. I love the thought of someone submitting to me and my will. Anything I say goes. Anything I ask is granted. Who wouldn't want to be God? But is that really true? Is the dom allmighty? The way I see it, hell no.

There's always limits. I hate limits. I hate hearing "no" while I'm doing my best at being dominant. I mean, come on, whatta fuck? How am I suppose to be dominant if really the sub is calling all the shots?

Does this mean the sub should just do everything the dom wants? Well, I suppose in an ideal case the wants and desires of a sub and dom are in unison and thus there's never a need for saying the allmighty no. So far, however, I haven't met such a girl. It's always been me pushing the limits further and further.

Until I find such a girl, I'm going to have to deal with the fact that there's limits, no matter how much I hate 'em. I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want to make anyone feel bad. Sex is suppose to be pleasant, for both. So I'm going to respect those limits.

Ok, so there's limits and I'm going to have to deal with 'em. How? Should the sub just say no during the act when we go to a region where she's not comfortable. Well, yes, she should. But hearing a no is such a huge turn off. It drops you right down from the skies where you were God. How can we avoid that? By agreeing on the allowed and forbidden areas beforehand.

If something isn't comfortable, go towards it little by little. I'll take anal sex as an example. If the dom wants anal sex, but the sub isn't yet comfortable with it, the sub isn't going to like if forced into it. So first agree beforehand that the dom is allowed to lick the sub's butt. When she's comfortable with that, move on to fingering. Then maybe a toy and finally a cock.

The important thing is that you both know the limits. The sub knows the dom won't go further than agreed and vice versa. Thus we have limits, but the dom doesn't have to get dropped down from heavens by a no.

Of course, if something doesn't feel comfortable even though it's normally in the allowed area, it's OK to say no. Everything just doesn't work out perfectly everytime. That's life. I think hurting someone is a lot worse than dropping out of domspace.

Sex with Christine was special. She'd been reading my blog and I'd gotten familiar with her opinions while chatting on MSN. Of course she knew I was going to spank her, pull on her hair and fuck her up the ass. She wouldn't have wanted to fuck me if she had a problem with that stuff. I knew all that was in the allowed section.

The borderline was vague, since I didn't know if it was OK to make her suck my cock after it had been up her ass. I decided to play it safe just so I don't make her feel bad and so I don't have to hear the feared word "no". I still think it was a good call. By next time, I'll know and then if she's up for it, I can do it and know it's OK by her.

With Christine, I had little fear of hearing no and thus I could concentrate on the essential: being in control. I loved the power I had over her. She was completely at my mercy. Yes, there's always limits, but in a way they are transparent because we both know where they are. To me, it looks like I can do anything because she's not going to say no to anything I make her do. It's a bit twisted, I know, but it works fine for me. What it boils down to is this: I can do whatever I want to, but I don't want to do anything she's not comfortable with.

I have to say this post was probably the hardest so far to put into words. I simply have too little experience to really be talking about the issues above. But hey, I'm not claming I know it all. This is what I think is right at the moment. I'll let you know if I change my mind.

A visit from the girl with big tits

Another selfish sex act with the big titted ex-girlfriend. I wanted to fuck and she was available so I asked her to come over. I probably should've just jerked off as I have almost every night after Saturday. A good jerk off is better than a lousy fuck.

Last time we had sex the lighting was dim. I should've turned it down this time too. She's just not a very pretty sight to be honest. I thought about it while fucking her. If she wasn't an ex I probably wouldn't have sex with her. She's not the kind of girl I'd pick up at a bar and I'd probably turn her down if she came and talked to me.

She's not especially fat, but she's not thin either. I don't think she's ever shaved her pubic hair. I don't like her face. Her big tits have some value, but since I'm more into butts the interest doesn't last long. She does have one merit though, she's good at sucking cock.

She gives the knob the attention it needs, but she also sinks the cock deep in her mouth, as deep as it goes. It feels magnificent. I had her suck my cock for quite a while and I didn't lick her. What an asshole I am, but so what. I'm not going to lick her pussy again unless she shaves it. I love licking pussy, but I hate pubic hair that gets in the way.

I fucked her doggy style for a while and then ejaculated on her tits. Earlier I didn't quite understand why guys want to cum on a girl and not inside the condom, which is a lot more tidier. Finally now I think I have a clue. It's a form of dominance. It's like saying "I can do whatever I want and you'll just take it". At least that's how I get something out of it.

Not a very pleasing fuck except for the cock sucking. Though it's not easy to impress me after the sex I had on Saturday. With her I felt very powerful and dominant.

I started pondering about a sub/dom relationship, but I'm going to write about it more later since I'm running out of time now. I'll just say that I'm really looking forward to seeing the girl from Saturday again. Actually, I think from now on I'll call her Christine.

You are never going to believe this

I have to say, never did I believe that I would get pussy by writing a blog, but here I stand corrected.

Today I had sex with a girl who contacted me through MSN right after I published my address some months ago. We've been chatting since and sort of getting to know each other. Naturally I haven't told her anything personal in order to preserve my anonymity. She's been completely open about her identity though. I know her full name and I've seen pictures of her in IRC-Galleria.

She doesn't live in Helsinki, but she was visiting friends this weekend. We agreed we'd meet. Still I didn't want her to know who I am so I had to make some arrangements and she had to trust me to not kill her and dump her in an alley somewhere. Brave girl, I must say. Though they do say that the difference between bravery and stupidity is the outcome. This time she was brave and chose someone trustworthy.

Here's my version of what happened. It's a bit weird to be writing this post since I know she'll read it. I'll try to not think about that. Hopefully she'll write a comment and thus for the first time you, my dear readers, will get unbiased facts about me and the size of my penis ;) Though it is her call, naturally.

I told her to go to the Ateljee bar, which is on the 12th floor of Hotel Torni in Helsinki. I had already paid for a strawberry Margarita and arranged that she gets a letter when she orders one. We'll, of course, the waiter screwed up and didn't give the letter and she had to pay for her drink. Anyway, when I noticed she was running late I gave her a call from a pre-paid phone number. She got the letter when she asked for it.

The letter contained two sheets of paper. The first was a note from me saying she has to select her favorite dildo from the numbered introduction list on the second sheet and memorize it's number. It also said when she has to be downstairs. There were five dildos, 2 for anal play and 3 others. She did as she was told.

Downstairs an off-duty taxi driver I had hired for the job gave her a paper bag with the corresponding number, containing the dildo. The driver naturally had no idea what was in the paper bags. The driver blindfolded the girl and drove her to a prearranged location.

When she arrived I was waiting. I took her inside. I've used blindfolds with girls before and I know they always gets displaced at some point so I had taken precautions. I was wearing a ski mask covering my head except for my eyes and mouth. I was like a fucking commando on a mission. I suppose that's not entirely false ;)

I offered her a drink. We talked for a minute or two and I started kissing her ear and groping her breasts. I put her drink away and pulled up her skirt. Nice see-through string panties, a bald pussy except for a very small landing strip. Very good. I kissed her inner thighs.

I told her to get down on all fours on the bed. With my left hand I either choked her or pulled on her hair, with my right I pulled up her skirt and started spanking her ass. I also fingered her a bit.

I pulled her up on her knees by her hair, took my cock out and put it in her mouth. She was a bit too tender at first, focusing too much on the knob and not taking the shaft in her mouth. I had her suck my cock on her knees a few times and when I started fucking her mouth, pushing my cock in her mouth, it felt really good. I couldn't help moaning. I would've loved to cum right then and there in her mouth.

I put her back on all fours and decided it was time for the toy or else I'd forget about the whole thing. I ripped open the paper bag and it contained an anal toy. Good girl. I would've been disappointed had she not chosen one of the anal toys since she's been reading my blog for quite a while.

I licked her ass a bit, moistened the toy in her pussy, spread some saliva on her anus and inserted the toy. I played with her ass for a while, then told her to continue herself while I moved to stand on my knees in front of her and made her suck my cock.

It was a very surreal feeling. There's this girl sucking my cock and masturbating with an anal toy and yet she knows nothing of me. She was completely at my mercy. What a powerful feeling. I loved the thought and I still do. What a slut.

After messing around with the anal toy a bit, I told her to turn around. I licked her pussy for a short while and fingered her at the same time. I wanted to fuck her ass. I didn't plan my actions ealier except for one thing. I was going to fuck her ass first, which is exactly what I did. I turned her on all fours again, spread some saliva on her anus with my fingers and slowly started sinking my cock in. I think she motioned twice with her hand for me to go in slower. Of course, humbly, I obeyed, I didn't want to hurt her. I fucked her ass for a while then got back to the spanking, choking and hair pulling. I also fucked her ass when she was on her back with her legs up and ankles in my hand.

I fucked her pussy in a few different positions: missionary, doggy style, her on her stomach and me behind her, etc. I called her a slut every once and a while and pulled on her hair. She was very quiet for the whole time. She told me earlier in MSN that she's always very quiet during sex so I wasn't suprised or anything, but it still is hard to read a girl when she's completely silent. I don't think she had an orgasm during the whole act but if she did, she kept it to herself.

I came on her butt while she spread her ass cheeks for me. What a beautiful sight. That's something I'll never get bored of, I'm sure.

After the act, she finished her drink, I gave her a lift to the city center, told her to count to 30 before taking off the blindfold and disappeared.

All in all a very pleasing set and definately worth the risk. I went through all the worst case scenarios in my head beforehand, but luckily none of them became reality. I had a great time and if she's up for doing it again, I am too. I am aware that if she came there to find out who I am she probably got enough clues to track me down, I wasn't that careful. I suppose it's fair that I trust her a bit too since she sort of trusted me with her life.

Here's a few things I would've wanted to do, but didn't dare. When I had fucked her ass I would've wanted to me her suck my cock after and spank her with my belt. And after I had ejaculated on her buttocks I would've wanted to take some cum in my fingers and have her eat it. I decided not to since it might've spoiled the fact that this time she did everything I wanted and didn't hold me back at all. I didn't want her to say no to me in anything. Of course, she could've let me do it and I guess I'll know when I talk to her once she's read this post.

What a great experience. Definately something to tell your grandchildren about. Or then again, maybe not ;)

#23 Anu

A new girl spent the night at my place. Anu is someone I met through the internet. I've seen her once before, but for some reason I didn't even mention it in the blog. She's not especially hot or anything, but fuckable.

The sex was pretty dull. I was very tired when she came over and I actually thought that I'm just going to go to sleep. Well, she had put on nice panties and pretty much climbed on top of me as soon as she got in to bed so I pretty soon cheered up enough to fuck her.

Foreplay wasn't her strongest field. Actually, I don't know what was, but I'm sure it wasn't foreplay. I'd licked her for about a half a minute when she pulled me up and murmured something about having been in a bar all night without a shower. She was worried that her pussy tastes bad. A good thing to worry about, but she tasted alright and I would've liked to continue a bit longer. That was the only oral sex during the whole act.

Twice she tried to stuff my cock inside her pussy without a condom, but I stopped her. After the second time I got the condom and started fucking her. Blah. So plain. When I'd fucked her for about a minute or so, she said something like "You don't have to..." meaning that I don't have to fuck her long enough for her to get an orgasm. I was just getting started, I wasn't feeling tired anymore, I wanted to fuck. That pretty much took away the little edge that was left. I pretty soon just came inside the condom, cleaned myself and went to bed.

I've been trying to arrange time with Evita, but our schedules just haven't had an opening at the same time. At least there's some interest in fucking her because of the absolutely beautiful ass and pussy. Plus I love spanking that pretty ass.

Have a nice weekend everyone. By the way, I might be heading to Onnela (a bar in the center of Helsinki) tonight so see you there, maybe ;)

Jonna is no longer my slut

This weekend was a bit too much. I could've had a few less drinks on both days. I'm still feeling very tired and a bit hung over. It think I'm gonna skip the drinking next weekend.

I met a woman who was about 10 years older than me, but I managed to loose her phone number since she gave it to me on a piece of paper. I'm pretty sure she would've been a very interesting acquintance in bed and I would've wanted to get my hands on her tits since now all I got was a quick peak when she pulled her shirt up for me in a dark corner of the bar.

Jonna called and said she thinks I should probably delete the pictures I have. I thought she'd found this blog or something, but luckily it was just because she'd met a guy. Well, naturally I told her I'd delete the pictures, but I'm not going to. Girls, don't ever think guys would delete nude pictures of you. It just doesn't happen. But then again, I'm not going to show them to anyone else or anything, ever. They're just going to stay in my archives. The archives that I will most probably delete the day I get married.

So, now I have one less fuck buddy and I've lost the most obedient slut I've had so far. I'm sure you, my dear readers, understand that I'm not feeling especially low because of this. We had fun, but there was always some kind of friction in our sex adventures so in the end I'm probably better off without her. Though my guess is she'll call me soon and ask if she could come over. We'll see.

I suppose I'm in need of a new slut. Luckily, there are things bubbling underneath the surface.

Lonely?

I actually wrote a post earlier, but now that I looked at my blog it's gone missing. I have no idea what happened. Well, I'll try to get some of those ideas in to this post.

I wrote about my busyness. How I'm always hurrying from one place to another. I seldom have the time to just sit back and relax. Well, a few days ago I deliberately arranged two days off from all my resposibilities, work, hobbies, girls and friends. It's good to have time for yourself every once and a while.

What happened was I felt very lonely. Very lonely. I had to start sending text messages to all the girls just to assure myself that my being single really is a choice, not a necessity. Quite simply I had to prove myself that I could have a girlfriend if I wanted one.

I've thought about this before quite a few times, but it's the first time I'm writing this down. Am I keeping myself busy deliberately so I wouldn't have time to notice how lonely I really am? At the moment I'm so busy I wouldn't even have time to date anyone, but if I arrange some time off I immediately feel like a puppy in need of some tenderness and care. I hope there's not a lot of guys reading this since it is a bit embarassing to admit that I'm not all about ass fucking, I do need some hugging and nice words every now and then too ;)

This post just poses the question since I don't have an answer. I'm very eager to hear your opinion so please do write your thoughts in the comment section or via email.